The Super Bowl is among us, so get out your favorite bag of chips, I’ll bring the dip, as we go on a three hour adventure through our televisions to a game where two of the best teams in the sport fight for the title, commercials fight for airtime and your stomach fights your food consumption.
Is the game an adventure?
More like a trip.
Calling the Super Bowl an adventure is just me building this game up, which you will see everywhere in sports and news the week before the game.
Everyone will pretend like it is the greatest thing since sliced bread, even though in reality it may not be.
So as I was saying,
The game is set, the lights are on and let’s go.
Do you have the sheet of paper you entered for the pool?
Do you at least know your numbers?
You can talk about how much you can’t wait for the commercials.
I don’t care for that part of the game.
It feels like I am being tricked when everyone is talking about commercials which are meant to sell me something.
I just don’t like it.
But hey that is me.
If you want to discuss every commercial more than the game, that’s cool.
This has become more of a show than a football game anyway.
Please tell me you are not watching all those pregame shows.
Good. Cause if you were I was going to revoke my offer of bringing that dip.
I don’t watch any of those shows.
They can drain on someone who spends too much time viewing them.
It is not healthy to watch six (maybe even more) hours of pregame and then the game.
How many times do they have a show about the intricacies of the game before the game starts?
They go over every play, every player, every game the teams played, I just skip the whole thing and find that I don’t lose anything from it.
Have I mentioned that I will skip the halftime show too?
Yeah, halftime in sports is the being waste of time.
I have people telling me what I already saw, as if I didn’t watch the game.
To make my halftime experience even better, there is a halftime performance for this game.
I am sure that you know that, and I am not presenting any shocking news to you.
You may even know that a certain Lady Gaga is performing this year for the show.
Oh boy, not her.
She is too weird for me.
Too out there.
Not only is she weird but she would embrace her crisis with some sort of morale highground, like she is proud to be weird.
Which is a lie.
No one is proud to be weird.
She may even do some sort of Satanic ritual like what Katy Perry did in that award show a few years ago.
And Lady Gaga will act like it is all normal.
Which it’s not.
It’s not normal to have men dressed in black capes dance around you as a fire ignites and you act like you are having a seizure.
That is how strange Lady Gaga is.
What upsets me is how the Super Bowl didn’t pick the best performer for the show.
They picked Lady Gaga over Weird Al.
That’s right. I would rather see Weird Al go around with all his silly parody songs than watch Lady Gaga with her songs.
She is going to act so over the top that it is hard to see the fun in the actual performance
Just imagine Weird Al performing “Perform This Way” at halftime.
But they would never allow it, since the game takes itself so serious that it needs a “real” performer, not a funny one.